Tonight's Study : Correlation between Laziness and Smelling like Fritos

Hey, it's Jon, I have decided to make a guest appearence on the blog(the office is a rerun). Bear with me it is my first time.

So we have a dog(Oliver), he maybe the laziest animal alive. He doesn't even bark because it takes too much energy. At any rate, every time we get him groomed, and washed within a few hours you can smell corn chips in the air. I would understand this if he were Air-Bud, but he sleeps 17 hours a day. Is his Frito-Layziness natural or is it some sort syndrome that causes him to sweat chili cheese. I digress this is just something that puzzles me.

The fact is that this is the first time I have ever blogged and I picked the topic with the first thing that came to mind(or nose, I guess). I could've have slammed my wife as she enjoyes doing on this blog, but I have decided to take high road. I intend to make an appearence every once in a while as it is Melissa and Jon's Blog.

My husband is the funniest person ALIVE....

So, I must say that Jon is one of the most hilarious people that I ever met. Even when he pisses me off, he still manages to make me burst out laughing (unless I am SUPER pissed) with some funny quip or even just making fun of me. Case in point, just a little bit ago here is how the conversation went down:

Jon: The kitchen smells like BO
Mel: What do you think it's from. I mean, aside from you?
Jon: Whatever. I think it's from the garbage disposal.
Mel: Oh speaking of, you do know that you are supposed to throw away the banana peels versus throwing them into the sink and waiting for the garbage disposal police to make sure they make their way down??
Jon: Oh really? Wait...I have an idea. Let's play a little game. Why don't you go to work every day, think about something I do to piss you off and then come home and tell me about it....every SINGLE night? Oh wait, you already do that and have been since the day we got married!!

Seriously....as much as that comment pissed me off, I almost peed my pants from laughing so hard. Seriously..he is the funniest person ALIVE (hence, the title of this blog). When we do finally get preggers, I pray that our child has half the sense of humor Jon does (and his dimples:).

Anyway, no update on the mom front. She had her CAT scan (I think it's CT scan but I like to spell it out:) today but we won't have results until later this week. I talked to her this morning and she finally told me, so non-chalantly, like it was no big deal. Anyway, I'll keep you updated on how she's doing but we are having some mom/sibling bonding on Friday. Her and I took off work and took my brother (who's a senior) out of school to take a nostalgic trip down to Auburn University for the day. He plans to start in the fall and is CLEARLY excited but has made it clear he wants to make a return trip down with Jon and I this summer. Gee...I wonder why????

I continue to stare at the heinous fridge right now...but enough about that. That thing will be out of here on Saturday morning. However, Jon made the comment that it is supposed to rain on Saturday morning. Uh...thanks for the weather update, Flip Spiceland. Why the hell does that matter? He is concerned that the rain might ruin the fridge as we return it. What the hell? Is it made out of snow or sugar all of a sudden?? It looks like someone is getting a case of the lazy's and is trying to score a preemptive strike. We'll be there rain or shine, you can count on that!!

Anyway, enough for the night. I really am trying to blog more often so I am going to try and get back on it tomorrow night.

Damn You Fridge....

Ok, I am going to just dive right into this blog because I am a little peeved about the appliance situation. So, Jon went and picked up the fridge from Brand Smart last night on his way to talk to some dude about some freelance work. I had a LONG day at work and then got an old but familiar message from an old friend...and it was not a good one. I had to go check on a friend to make sure she was okay and it just went downhill from there. I finally get on my way home and get a call from my dad - I HAVE to come by my parents house ASAP. I am like, 'what the hell...blah, blah.' In any event, I swing by the fam's house on my way home and learn my mom is having a CAT scan on Wednesday (tomorrow) for her stomach issues and they hope to find something wrong so they can address it. And best of all, she has failed to tell my brother and I so we are not even supposed to know she's having the damn thing. She has been struggling with stomach issues for years and it's she will be at the forefront of my thoughts all day on Wednesday!

My dad is explaining this situation to my brother and I and meanwhile Jon is calling me on his way home with the freakin fridge on the back of his truck. I finally meet him home and our friend comes (Zeeks - thanks, buddy) over to hang out and (unknowingly) help us get the fridge into the house. The fridge is finally in the kitchen and installed and......I am completely underwhelmed! I am so tired and preoccupied to even say anything to Jon at this point but I am severely upset. The freakin fridge does not even MATCH our damn dishwasher. Thanks, saleslady from Brand Smart. She was selling us on the fact that it was not only stainless steel, but titanium, meaning it would not get fingerprints. Little did that beeyotch mention that titanium is a completely different look and feel from regular stainless steel. Now, I am pissed. Then, I notice the sides of the fridge which were completely not on my radar when we were in Brand Smart. How am I supposed to see the sides of the fridge's at Brand Smart when they are side-by-side. My dumbass assumed they were black on the side, not this cheap, hideous looking 'stainless wannabe' crap. I mention it to Jon (finally) and he thinks I am a little crazy. Whatever, his ass will still be at Brand Smart on Saturday morning returning the damn thing.

However, I get an email this morning from him saying he thinks we should return it. He finally noticed how heinous it was and the fact that it looked like I painted the side of the fridge in some sort of gray color. So, we are returning that thing and getting a new one on Saturday, along with our new gas range and microwave. Zeeks - if you don't have plans on Saturday, we might need your help:) Kidding....

Anyway, I took a few photos of the fridge so you can see what we will happily be returning on Saturday. Well, Jon is not going to be happy getting that thing back in the truck but we'll get it. Anyway, that's my appliance update. I clearly have more important things to think about than appliances but thought I would share my mishaps on the blog:)

Will update soon.....

I love productive weekends....

So, I have not blogged in awhile but better late than never, right? Jon and I had a wonderfully productive weekend - more so than most in the past few months. Friday night, we made dinner and watched a movie. Saturday morning, we were up early and running errands by 9 a.m. We hit up the grocery store, got haircuts (I usually go to my salon but can't get in for another few weeks and desperately needed a trim), worked out and then strolled around Best Buy. This never leads to good things.....

While we're in Best Buy, I immediately go to the appliances. We have talked about upgrading our appliances to stainless since we moved in but decided we would do it one piece at a time. We priced out some options at Best Buy and then it hit us.....duh, let's get ourselves over to Brand Smart and haggle us into some new appliances. We swore we would still only buy the fridge if the price was right. Well, the price is ALWAYS right at Brand Smart so we ended up with a brand new, stainless steel (it's actually titanium:) LG fridge. It's the most beautiful thing I have seen -kidding. However, they didn't have it in stock so Jon is picking it up tomorrow. But wait, the shopping did not end there. Does it ever???? We also ended up with a new dishwasher which matches the new fridge perfectly. We almost bought the stove/range but it wouldn't fit in the truck so we have already picked it out and will be back next weekend for that!!! And do you know what I am listening to now? The sound of my dishwasher making NO noise at all and I'm loving it.


After Jon installed the dishwasher (a hilarious event in and of itself), we made dinner, and headed out to a neighborhood bar for a few drinks. I am still doing really well with the patch and not smoking so that was not even an issue last night. This morning we got up, worked out and decided to take a day trip to Dahlonega for lunch and to walk around. It was such a nice day, albeit a little cold, and it was a nice drive. We had lunch at this little cafe and then hit up the outlets on our way back. Trust me, we are not rolling the dough but we sure acted like it this weekend. Oh well! Our saleslady at Brand Smart told us it's better to buy this stuff now because once we have a baby, ALL of our money will be going towards the little one.

After we got home today, I did some work, made some fruit snacks for the week (smoothies and nonfat pudding with fresh fruit) and am now sitting down to relax.

And on that front, we are still trying to get preggers. I am such an impatient person and once I decide I want to do something, I want it to happen right then so even after trying for just a few months, I am SO ready for it to happen. I have already invested in a few books and think I'll buy Jon a book next weekend since he's so interested in the entire process. He is going to make such a great dad!! We even have our names picked out. If it's a girl: Madison Nicole and if it's a boy: Jackson Nicholas. Are we getting ahead of ourselves or what???

And finally, I went and saw the doctor on Friday about my knee and she wants to do an MRI. That sucks and I had to call by OB-GYN to see if I could even though I am not even preggers yet and she said it was fine since it will be confined to the knee area. I am hoping to get that done sooner than later. I guess we will see....

So, signing off and I will try to blog again before another two weeks goes by. And, I'll be sure to upload pics of our new stainless kitchen once everything is in:)

Alli and....well, just read on....

So, I am on day two of the patch and have not had a cigarette since Sunday night at about 9:55 p.m. I am feeling pretty good especially since I jogged even further tonight and could already tell a difference after such a short period of time. The evenings are the hardest but I am really trying to push through. I am hoping this keeps up....

So, on to the Alli pills I have started taking. GROSS ALERT - For anyone who may have a weak stomach or gets grossed out easily, this would be the time to stop reading this post. I had already heard that taking these pills may cause 'anal leakage.' If you think I am kidding, I am not at all (although not through experience). This is how last night/this morning went with talking to Jon and Stacy about this drug. Here is my convo with Jon last night:

Mel: Babe - you will never guess what I bought today?
Jon: Oh shit, what?
Mel: Chill. I bought Alli to help me lose weight AND to help mitigate any potential weight I may gain while trying to quit smoking.
Jon: You did WHAT?!?! I thought that shit was for extremely overweight people. What the hell are you thinking?
Mel: Oh Jon - you are being ridiculous! Anyway, I was reading the label and it said it may cause the following: loose stools that are hard to control, anal leakage.
Jon: I also heard that. You better be careful and I suggest you stop taking the damn things.
Mel: Whatever

This morning's follow-up convo as I am getting dressed:

Jon: Seriously, Melis?!?!
Mel: WHAT?
Jon: So, I guess you are not going to take Alli anymore?
Mel: Why would you say that?
Jon: Didn't we just talk about anal leakage last night?
Mel: So? I have been fine.
Jon: I would suggest getting the hell out of those white pants and save yourself from that embarrasment at work.
Mel: Shut up

I get to work, white-knuckling the drive in and wanting a cigarette (but I did not have one). I check in with Stacy and we are chatting. I tell her about Alli. Here's how this goes:

Mel: So, I heard that Alli can cause anal leakage
Stace: OMG - yes. I knew someone that took it and had to bring an extra change of clothes everywhere she went.
Mel: What tha?!?!
Stace: Yeah. She went to a BBQ, had one hot dog and in 20 minutes made a beeline for the bathroom.
Mel: Hmmmm....

So, all signs are pointing to this crap (no pun intended). However, because it's blocking fat, I think that really happens if you food high in fat content which causes the AL. So, there's just another reason to stay away from fatty foods. Oh, Alli.......how in the hell did the FDA approve this?

I'm back......

Holy crap - it's been almost six months since I've updated the blog. It's my self-diagnosed ADD - I lose interest very easily. Anyway, new year, new home, new goals. So, I threw on the Nicoderm CQ patch this morning in my attempt to quit smoking for good. I am happy to report that it's 4:30 p.m. and I have not had a cigarette all day. And, I'm even off work today which clearly has left me with time on my hands so I am feeling pretty good about that.

This effort to quit smoking all boils down to my 2009 goals. My 2009 goals are:

• Quit smoking
• Lose weight (I bought Alli over the weekend so I am hoping that in conjunction with my running three miles a day will really boost this goal)
• Get pregnant
• Save more money
• Keep up with my blog

Hmmm....after reading my goals, I realize those are some pretty damn lofty goals. Shit!! However, I want to accomplish these goals in a certain order. Clearly, I want to quit smoking before I get pregnant. It's just a nasty but hard habit to break but I feel more commited than ever. I also bought the Nicorette gum and almost puked after I chewed once...and I even got the mint flavored. GROSS!! However, I was sporting the patch and reading the Nicorette pamphlet and it said not to use the patch in conjunction with the gum. And although the freakin gum cost $70, I was glad to hear I didn't have to do both.

And, I would like to lose some of the excess weight I've put on before I get pregnant too. But yes, Jon and I are very excited to get pregnant this year. I got some good advice from a friend, MacKenzie, to not stress about it and just enjoy trying:) It sounds like great advice to me so I am going to follow it to the letter.

I really thought we would wait longer to start trying but over the last few months, Jon and I have talked about this topic ad nauseum and feel we're ready!! I mean Jon is one big kid to begin with so I feel like I've already got some experience with children. So, I'll keep everyone posted on that front.

As I am writing this, I am watching Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (gee - I'll be ready to go back to work tomorrow) and Sue Ellen is smoking a cigarette and I got a little misty-eyed. This blows!

Anyway, Jon and I had our dining room and living room painted over the holidays and we just love the colors. If you remember the heinous wallpaper in the dining room, you would know why that crap was the bane of my existence so I am glad it's gone. Check out the pics!!!

Okay, so I am committed to blogging much more often now. Maybe I'll blog every time I crave a cigarette (if that's the case, I might have anywhere from 7 - 10 posts a day:).